You're smarter than that
she told me incessantly
preaching to a wall,
at something darker than black
In drunken haze and so brazenly
All of it makes no sense to me.

Clips and riddles are what you gave;
We are in stupor.
As much as you are you don't know much.

Running away in fear...
playing with people you can play.

You're smarter than that...
when was it stupid to improve one's self?

You are invariably lost. Lost deep within
your self, lost deep in the urban jungle
of false hopes and promises, never to be found again.

You screamed abuse were drowned by the constant
buzz of the city...never to be heard, never acknowledged.

You are alone. Perpetually seeking the unknown.
A wanderer in a strange but familiar grounds.

You are a lost soul, silent and unseen.

Sleeping on top of me [literally]
telling me how warm I am
with your hands seeking
the most comfortable places.

I can almost laugh at
the absurdity of the situation.
But I let it be [because]
I was as comforted as you were.

And he learned of her fate.
A slave. A bondage of debt.
Is it love or pity? What fate
awaits
the lone wolf and the prostitute?

A sympathy I cant feel
a perpetually rolling wheel.
Feeling powerless as tears roll down your face
My heart weeps as well as race.

written a long time ago, prolly around 2004 maybe.
revised version.

--

The light from the past stood unconcerned

at the dark festive eve.

The cold wind gave no warmth

to this heart of mine

as lonely as the shadows of the leaves.

For the love of me, I cant think of a title for this one so i guess its untitled until I can think of a suitable one. Enjoy.

----

We are filled with sadness in this dark underworld.
The unfathomable fog of emotion, deeper than the deepest crevice,
blots the bright world of life and
lits up the dark world of death.

As you fall deeper and deeper into that whirlpool of darkness
the cold crept in and you felt alone again.

The flow of water that echoed for eternity
ended up in a trickle.
The plaintive sobs became a halcyon
And sadness became a dream half-remembered, half-forgotten

Fear and terror loomed whenever you are near
Knowing that love is fleeting and fragile,
That trust, once given and broken, can never be the same again.

I fear for I am weak, as you are weak
With the wolves and flowers around us; How can we be truly so?
For I am a wolf, as you are a flower.

And so, shall I ran with the pack
and you shall bloom with your kind

And then one day I understood my value.
Beauty is common.

And an orange hue fanned out from the ceiling of humanity
and the sweet sound, like very fine rocks, huge and small,
and great in number, filled the air; the sound in the distant
horizon mingled with the ever present breeze and the gentle
warm ray of the dying light.

like an exhausted lover lying at the bosom of his beloved
I enjoyed the peaceful feeling it evoked deep within me.

Sometimes I wish for a simple
story to engross me.
Free of complications
but downright entertaining.

---


I give you Ryokan's poetry:

Having met you thus
For the first time in my life,
I still cannot help
Thinking it but a sweet dream
Lasting yet in my dark heart

Teishin's reply:

In the dreamy world,
Dreaming, we talk about dreams.
Thus we seldom know
Which is, and is not, dreaming.
Let us, then, dream as we must.

I dreamt of a woman
Whom I do not know
Vowing to buy her a
valuable stone of no value.

-------

yup, very weird...but then most dreams are... =D

I stood there waiting in the rain

on a wide grassy field, atop a horse

as the horizon misted, as I shook

I found myself wanting.

And I awoke in the darkness

and feared death eternal

Hearing your sad lilting voice say

"You will kill me with or without a knife,"

"You will starve me of your love, until I die?"

And you raised your hand to beckon me

to go to that dark wonderland

that I hate so much.

I stared out the window and watched the lich-yard.
It called me.
"Join over brother," it called. "Embrace the soil, your home."

Deep within the recesses of the mind
it called again and again. They call me everyday.
Whenever it does, I listen.

I am in pain.

A heavy feeling crushes the chest.

Breathing is a burden.

Feeling like heavy weights are strapped on both feet.

The mind is not working right.

The heart is crying out, missing something important.

It does not know what, but the body know somehow...

My heart is heavy; my heart is lonely.
Burdened by guilt, burdened by mistakes
It cries out your name;
It cries out in pain.

My heart longs for you. It longs to
see your face, to hear your voice,
to smell your scent
To spend another last time with you.

Wrap your arms around me and shelter
me from my loneliness, from my sadness.
Allow me to feel your warm embrace
As I sit here remembering every detail of you.

Fearing that one day I will lost the memories.
Fearing that one day I completely forget you, Tomoe.

The following are lines [from novels] i find interesting:

"...besides, I love you not."

"Embers are falling dry."

"Ah, the dark side of ambition."


---------


"And there I was writing something coherent, or at least half-way decent..."

-an unfinished line in my scrapbook

It was a dark gray day when the wind blows steady
and a certain chill permeates the air,
It was then when I carved a heart from wood
and hid it from view, burying it
In the ground so no one finds it.
But a certain fox nosed around
and found my buried heart in the ground
and stole it away.
Running away with it as I gave chase to get it back
I could never catch the fox that I gave up
And accepted the fact that my heart, that is made of wood,
can never be returned...
never whole, never the same...
as it was, as it has been.

I wrote this around 2002

--

I stared above the canopy of leaves
embracing the shaft of light.

Green, sylvan.

Moss and lichens awaits my return...
my breath belongs to the humid air.

I wrote this around april or may, 2002.


----


Down the limelight a bird awaits,
drinking and smoking as
she waits.

Up the stage they dance and sway,
matching the beating
of the music.

Behind is another world,
watching with lust,
gaze fevered.

The freezing sleet stormed. Its screeching howl defeaned terrified ears. A slave afraid, a slave powerless… shackled with eyes glazed… feet bound with silken wraps, body wrapped in oiled sheets, awaiting deliverance from non-existing saviour. Bonded forever, knowing nothing but the cold hard truth; colder than the terror that rampaged outside.